So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
