she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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