I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
