I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
