Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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