According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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