dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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