This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
