You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
