Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think my mom watched the whole time
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
