she was so not down for the gang bang
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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