PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
