i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
