Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
