"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I forget how to act sober
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
