i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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