Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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