This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
