This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
