Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
