My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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