It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
