I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
