no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
