Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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