yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
