It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
