he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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