so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
