He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
they need to just BURY HIM!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
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