I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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