best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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