Those balls look pretty dangerous.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
