i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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