Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
3 2 1 whiskey
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
