worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
