Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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