Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
