I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
