just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
