So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
