Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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