Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
