We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
