Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
