Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
