Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
