im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
