Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
