I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's Friday. Sex?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
