he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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